This hangover is staring me directly in the face and laughing manically as I throw everything I’ve ever learned at it, to no avail.  This includes: water, milk thistle, cannabis, vitamins, coffee, greasy food, a two hour snow shoveling workout, and even a fucking hot toddy (which only worked initially)  At some point, something’s got to give.  I suppose Ill go pick up a bottle of vodka and Bloody Mary ingredients and see where I land.

I just found out that there is a tumblr blogger also using “bourbon and bullshit”.  What’s worse is the fact that his blog isn’t even devoted solely to booze.  In the words of FKR, “an actual outrage”.  An actual fucking outrage.

In other news,  Elijah Craig was a saint in the evening and a devil in the morning.  This hangover is a brutal fucking mistress.  I made myself a big ol’ hot toddy for the supposed curative effects, and let me tell you, it works better than any non-alcoholic cure that I’ve tried.  It’s probably mostly the five ounces of bourbon that’s doing the trick.  I considered drinking a beer with a raw egg in it, like the old guy in Factotum.  Then I remembered that it’s a raw fucking egg.

 

“Vodka expert? …

“Vodka expert? That’s like saying you write children’s books, right?”
-Frank Kelly Rich

Well, it looks like we in Missouri are in for a hell of a snow storm. I decided to brave the treacherous streets and moronic drivers for a trip to Gomer’s to pick up another fifth of Elijah. I now have Knob Creek, Maker’s 46, Eagle Rare, Devil’s Cut, and this Elijah Craig all in […]

“First, you tak…

“First, you take a drink. Then, the drink takes a drink. Then, the drink takes you.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald

Welcome friends,  This existence of this blog is based somewhat on an inclination that I believe every true drunkard understands: that deep down, he might be a great writer…or at least a decent one.  More realistically, I felt the need to have a space to put my thoughts down, to release some sort of hopefully inspired creation fueled by humanity’s oldest pal, booze.  For me, it’s whiskey, mostly.  Bourbon, to be more specific, or a Bloody Mary (if we’re talking about drinking before 1:00 pm).  Not that the specificity matters too much; if a rum and coke or gin and tonic is your thing, far be it from me to tell you otherwise.  Even the sugary, bright colored abominations that seem to be so popular with the girls (and guys) these days have their place.  Pathetic as they may be, characterized by fruity flavors, double-digit prices, and weak pours, these drinks still have value.  You wouldn’t catch anyone I drink with ordering one; but at the end of the day, if that’s what it takes to get a couple more people nice and sauced, then I am for it.  Isn’t that what it’s really all about?  So raise your glasses and middle fingers to the prohibitionists and whatever their boring ass plan for your life may be.  Enjoy one of your last true freedoms on this earth.  Go to the liquor store, pick your poison, bring it home, and get shit-faced drunk.  Right now, if at all possible.  And do it ALONE.  Get over the bullshit fear of being “an alcoholic”, and accept what the fuck you are.  Realize that there is infinite power and beauty in the human mind, and that your favorite drug just happens to be an incredible catalyst for it.  Bottoms up to Frank Kelly Rich, Charles Bukowski, Ernest Hemingway, John Steinbeck, and all the rest for the inspiration and the priceless knowledge shared.

Now Drinking:  The depressingly watered down dregs of a once glorious Bloody Mary.  Next up is some Elijah Craig 12 year.  This is a recent discovery and a new favorite of mine.  It is, perhaps, the best bourbon that I have tried for under $30 (750).  Cheers.